HE SAID: Tattoos

I’ve been sitting here starting at a blank screen for about 30 minutes trying to formulate some thoughts about tattoos.  Clearly, I’m struggling with the concept.  This is most likely due to two reasons : 1. I’m an incredibly devout and pious Jew, and by Jewish law I am not allowed to “mutilate my body,” and 2. they are more or less a non-factor in my life.  Well, most likely my lack of insight is actually due to the latter, given that I haven’t been to Synagogue in about 8 years.

Reflecting on the last decade (more or less from the age of 18, when friends typically start getting sweet tatts), I realized that there are an incredibly small amount of people in my life who actually have tattoos.  I’d like to think I don’t have an issue with tattoos, but maybe I do.  Honestly, let’s pretend I met some girl who was actually drunk enough to actually let me take her home, and things got pretty steamy and some clothes came off, and I saw this…I would obviously still have sex with this girl, but I probably would give her a fake number.

Clearly I’m being a bit dramatic for comedic effect, because like I said at the beginning, tattoos have never meant anything to me.  This is definitely something I’m going to explore this week though with my psychotherapist and psychoanalyst, and probably even my Rabbi.  But until then, I leave you with a  short warning regarding tattoos, specifically lower back tattoos, courtesy of SNL (you will probably have to deal with an advertisement first, get over it).


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