Hate to break it to you, but you start off with literal plagiarism and then continue with character plagiarism.
I get it, you want to see the Hangover. You liked Old School. You’re the bearded, hungover guy with the white headphones in who’s been on a bender for two weeks wearing sunglasses (kind of embarrassed to know you, after you revealed that little detail) on the plane to whom regular people are giddy to talk. You exude cool. I’ve seen that character in a lot of movies and in a lot of recent literature.
Maybe this guy sitting next to you just spent his first few days in Paris after a life spent washing dishes at Howard Johnson’s and yes, he was that excited to talk to you about the croissants because he just had the trip of a lifetime and was happier than he had ever been. Would have been nice if he could have shared that enthusiasm, relived some of his incredible memories instead of sitting next to a damp sponge of wrung out vodka red bull.
Oh wait, if he were a hot, young, whore of a twenty something girl he would have been worthy of your enlightened airplane conversation. Too bad he missed out on your top three Judd Apatow movies of all time. Or your witty commentary with winners such as “The triple S”. Poor Guy. It’s a good thing you spared him and just ignored him, so at least he didn’t know what a gem of a conversationalist he was missing out on.
We are assholes. In close confines, sometimes, just maybe, we have to get over ourselves and interact. It’s not always such a bad thing. Some of the people around you might have an interesting viewpoint, a unique life story, a touching reflection on something we’ve never even considered before. Maybe they will annoy the heck out of you and offer nothing but a funny vignette for you to laugh about with friends when you’re back home. Maybe someone’s enthusiasm to talk to you could be interpreted as flattery and a chance to connect, pass the time communicating instead of listening to the same over-played music with the same generic three chords, obsessing selfishly over our hedonistic lives or sleeping off a two week hangover.