SHE SAID: Dear Mr. Brett Favre

Dear Mr. Favre,

I loved you in “There’s Something About Mary”.  I imagine you knew about the whole “Fav-re” bit and it was pretty funny, as was your whole role in that movie.

I get what it’s like to hold onto something.  I’m not a pack rat and there are pointless things I hold on to because someone special gave it to me, or things I hold on to that are damaged and will never be the same because I remember how spectacular they were in their prime.  You,  my friend, are in the second category.

It’s okay to retire and feel as if there is something left on the table.  To quote Neil Young and every high school year book senior’s page: “it’s better to burn out than fade away.”  You’re fading.  You had the chance to burn out.  You’re causing heartbreak and now, even worse, annoyance.  You’re the person on the deathbed that the relatives are saying, we just hope he’s out of his misery soon.  They’ve stopped regaling anyone who will listen with stories of your greatness.

It’s a fine line, I would imagine, as a top athlete, to realize when you should retire.  I think we would all agree you want to do it while you still have something to offer, but not while you have a lot left to offer.  And that will always be an unknown, again, ideally, once the decision has been made.

And yet, I understand how in the twilight of your career you’re having a hard time letting go just as I have a hard time letting go of my first pair of Seven jeans that have long since thinned out and ripped up the ass and been patched and repaired by my mom.  Because in our heyday, it was awesome and I have never loved a pair of jeans like I did and still do those Sevens.  The point is, I only wear them around the house.  I pull them out and look at the wash and think, “they don’t wash them like this anymore.”  Your career is like my Sevens.  Ripped and patched on the ass and worn so thin that if donned again the neighborhood will have nothing left to the imagination.  The difference being, you’re wearing them out of the house. No, no, Mr. Favre.

But this seems to be a lesson you are hellbent on learning the hard way which is unfortunate because it’s almost painful to watch.  I say almost, because your ego, on which this is all based, makes it less painful.

Have fun beating the dead horse.  Wear an apron, it can get messy.


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