HE SAID: Marry/Fuck/Toss

Sex with cartoons?!  Should I be worrying about you? (See below for She Said: Marry/Fuck/Toss)

I know you’re watching a lot of baseball since the season is heating up and hopefully you’re managing to stay sane during the Red Sox recent penchant for sucking.

Your three are baseball announcers: Heidi Watney, Hazel-Mae, and Jeanne Zelasko.  Yes, all three are arguably attractive, definitely real, and oh yeah, also, human.

mft-femalesNifer, you are right I probably got carried away with my selections for you…I heard Take on Me on the radio, thought about how sweet the video was, and just took it too far.  It wont happen again, until next time we play this game anyway.

Moving on, you have legitimately given me a problem here.   All three probably know more about baseball than me (huge turn on) and all three are incredibly attractive.  Ultimately though I will marry Heidi, because she is still on NESN with the Red Sox, and even though she has probably been tagged by half the 40 man roster, she has been faithful to the team.

Hazel Mae, not so faithful…she bolted for the fucking MLB Network, what a joke.  As a result I will have a one night stand with her, where I remind her just what she is missing when she left the Red Sox fans (yet to be decided if this will make her want to come back to NESN, or leave for the MLB Network in Japan).

Which leaves you, Jeanne Zalasko – tossing you off a cliff would be fun, since I’ve hated Fox Sports since I could understand the English Language.  However, if I could somehow toss you and Tim McCarver at the same time, I’d probably just jump off right after, and people would remember me as the world’s greatest Martyr since Joan of Ark.

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