HE SAID: Marry/Fuck/Toss

We are a classy couple, Jeremy and I.  Going from a post on douchebags, to the walk of shame, to a Marry/Fuck/Toss round.  My mom would be so proud … thankfully, I don’t think she reads this.

I am going to spare Jeremy from having to choose between Wonder Woman and Jem or the female cast of the first season of Saved by the Bell.

Recently, the US held it’s Olympic trials for the track and field events.  I was in awe of both the overwhelming strength and delicate agility required of many of the athletes.  However, the hammer throw seemed to require the most of both and the precise footwork of these athletes was impressive even when not combined with their staggering strength.

So, Jeremy.

Choose between the top three finalists from the first preliminary round.  If they can utilize strength and agility on the field, imagine how much fun they could be off the field.

This year’s top qualifier in the first preliminary, Jessica Cosby, from team Nike.

Second place finisher, Loree Smith, from team New York AC.

And third place finisher, Kristal Yush, who is not on a team and is conveniently listed as “unattached”.

mft_hammer_toss

Go, Jeremy, Go.

You want me to bitch and moan like you do every time, don’t you? But I am a bigger person than you Nifer, so I am going to respond happily, and then puke in my mouth…alot.

I know nothing about any of these girls, so I’m going on these three pictures alone.  I am going to marry Kristal, for no other reason than she looks like she might be alot of fun in bed, and therefor the rest of her life as well.  I’ll fuck Jessica for two reasons – 1. she goes to UCLA and I hate the USC Trojans and 2. I like fucking winners.  So that leaves tossing Loree, which I feel bad about because she might be a great gal, but something tells me she’ll get over it pretty quickly…

I just realized, how the fuck am I supposed to toss this girl off a cliff? She can beat the shit out of me.  Am I allowed to use some chloroform first?

Advertisements

3 Responses to HE SAID: Marry/Fuck/Toss

  1. paul Lawson says:

    For jeremy I would make him chose from the Solhiem Cup USA golf squad. Some very interesting choices. For Nif .. I think that the New york Knicks in the patrick ewing years would be a perfect scenario

  2. Single Soccer Mom says:

    You guys are hilarious. My boyfriend and I are a classy couple as well…makes it more fun. How boring would it be if you couldn’t talk/laugh about such topics 🙂

  3. Loree says:

    This is a real thing. I’m conceded so I googled my name and found this. I’m not sure how I feel about being in the toss section, but I guess you’re right. I’ll get over it pretty quickly.

    Bonus points if you could actually toss me. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: