HE SAID: Halloween

I can write forever on Halloween in the 80’s and early 90’s, my heyday of acquiring candy, egging people & toilet papering houses.  Unfortunately, or fortunately, I do not have a child of my own and really have no idea what goes on these days for Halloween.  Well, I should say I have no idea what goes on Halloween these days for children.  Based on the number of absurd photos I just detagged myself from on facebook, I am quite sure I know what goes on Halloween for adults in the new millennium.

But first, I do have a quick bone to pick with Nifer…I am quite sure growing up we did indeed have to worry about those creeps that tried to feed razorblades to sugar hungry children.  We were always told not too accept unwrapped candy from houses we didn’t know.  Maybe you are just THAT much older than I am, or maybe that ritzy little ‘hood you grew up in didn’t have crazies.  Just kidding, it’s not like I grew up in Watts or anything like that.

Also, I don’t know about you (Nifer, our 18 readers, etc), but we also never did anything too egregious.  Maybe it was the small town thing, but a couple eggs here, or rolls of toilet paper there, were pretty much the extent to our shenanigans.  We certainly never threw shit on someone’s door, leading to exchanges such as this one.  Actually, this scene brings up two good points 1. going as Ronald Miller and Cindy Mancini would make a kick ass couples costume and 2. what the eff happened to Amanda Peterson?

This brings me to yet another point – couples dressing as lame couples for halloween of really lame.  Two M&M’s, Fred and Wilma, plug and socket are all examples of ideas that I can not endorse.  Now, the aforementioned Ronald & Cindy or Axl & Slash, these are something I can get into.  But I am just far too lazy to do something that cool.

I realize that this post has no semblance of structure, so I’ll wrap it up with two final thoughts.  While halloween is fun as an adult (dressing up like a jackass, seeing girls dress up as skanky as possible, getting extremely inebriated, etc etc etc), there is no doubt in my mind the joy I felt as a child going from house to house with my friends was more pure and unadulterated.  Even when my effing parents dressed me up as a bunny rabbit or pumpkin.  There was a sense of innocence that has been lost.  And maybe that’s the issue with today’s kids and Halloween; with all the TV/video games/internet crap that’s out there, maybe they have lost their innocence at a younger age.

Since it is not within me to end on such a serious note, might I suggest all adult females go for one of the following costumes a couple of weeks from now.


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