SHE SAID: Marry/Fuck/Toss

I really miss cliff sex marriage.  So after hearing one of my favorite songs from my childhood (Every Rose Has It’s Thorn by Poison), I decided I’ll let Nifer choose from three icons of the era.  Note, you will not be choosing from the following three people now, but rather who they were in there hay day.  First up, Bret Michales of the aforementioned Poison; just think of the way he’d serenade you to sleep.  Next up, drummer of Motley Crew Tommy Lee. I promise I’ve never seen it,  but apparently there is a homemade porn of him and Pamela on a boat, and rumor has it he might be good for the eff portion of the game; but really, never seen that clip on the internet, ever.  Finally,  I don’t see how you can play this game without Axl, a man who needs no explanation.

———

This is tough.  Well done, Jeremy.  They are all so similar that I’m finding myself having to actually think about this one.

I’m going to say, for the sake of the game, that Bret Michaels is pre-Rock of Love Bret Michaels.  Back when glam rock was dominating the charts and I was begging my parents for both the Chipmunks Christmas Album and Def Leppard’s album.  Now, while this demonstrates that glam metal fans clearly have no taste in music, it also shows that even the worst music fan can turn the boat around.  Thankfully, my problem was diagnosed and treated early.

I’m going to marry Tommy Lee.  This is coming from the belief (with no basis in fact) that the guy has to have a good sense of humor based on some of his choices in women, tattoos, etc.

I’m going to sleep with Axl just to say that I did.  But this is at his height.  Before he did the braided dreads thing and tried to fit into his old leather pants and make a comeback.

And that leaves Bret Michaels.  Because I just can’t get over Rock of Love.  Even if I try to pretend we’re going back to the time before … I can’t go back. And, if this tossing takes place before he does that, then it’s really an altruistic action, because I’m sparing America and whatever other countries are suffering through that programming.  So, it’s a GOOD thing.  A humane act of kindness.  A mercy killing … for the rest of us.

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