HE SAID: Karaoke

Most of you think I’m probably about to rip Nifer a new one for taking a seemingly fun and drunken night out and turning it into some sort of introspective look at drunken culture. However, I have to admit it, I get it. I see her point, I just hadn’t thought about it in that light before. That being said, I still think you might have been reading a bit too much into JP’s Karaoke scene. While I agree that there is something a bit depressing about CERTAIN karaoke performances, most karaokeing falls into three categories: self-serving, entertaining, and downright shitty.

The issue with self-serving people is that they are not singing to entertain the crowd; instead they are simply trying to wow you with their singing prowess. Believe you me, I am not at a Karaoke bar on a Friday night to see some choir couple gush into each other’s eyes while belting out “I Got You Babe.” If you have a great voice, by all means use it…just make sure you’re not obviously trying to show off, do your best to make sure your performance falls into…

Entertaining. These performances are what makes a karaoke night fun. Some people get up there with great voices, sing a fun song (note: Only the Good Die Young does not qualify as a good karaoke song, and hasn’t since the Wall was still up), and really get the crowd into it. Others get up there with a relatively crappy voice, but still manage to be entertaining. This latter category, I’m proud to say, is the one I fall into.

I have actually only performed actual karaoke twice. First time I was with a few guys on Spring Break down in Turks & Caicos. While my song selection was somewhat cheesy – “You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling” – the fact that my buddy and me performed the whole Top Gun scene leading up to the song really revved up the crowd and we didn’t buy a drink the rest of the night (that last part is probably a lie, but I like to remember it that way).

The second time was here in Stowe, and I wasn’t even inebriated. I just felt like having a good time. Even if that good time meant singing “Keep on Lovin’ You” by REO Speedwagon. People clapped and sang along, so I felt somewhat accomplished. Finally, this isn’t really karaoke, but I am not ashamed to admit that this is me. I promise, if you click on the link, you will be entertained.

The last category is perhaps the most painful. These people suck at singing (and many times think they are good), pick lame songs, and don’t engage with the crowd at all. These folks are probably up there singing something along the lines of “Like A Prayer” because they either A. think it’s cool or B. lost their virginity to it while in the back of their Mom’s Buick Skylark in 1989. Often times these people will cause such discomfort amongst fellow bar patrons, a cigarette break or bathroom run is the only hope of respite. But then again, I look at this guy and am completely confounded. He is awful, I want to break a bottle of Bud over his head, but yet I can’t look away, and have a feeling I’d probably be cheering him if I was there…


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