HE SAID: St. Patrick’s Day

It’s a beautiful Wednesday morning here in Vermont, and before I continue with my 10,000 word term paper, I thought I’d do a quick entry for your enjoyment.  See, my plan is to do lots of work today, and then reward myself with a bunch of green beer and or Guinness tonight.  Why? Because it’s St. Patrick’s Day of course!

What’s that you say?  “Jeremy, you are Jewish…not Irish!”  To that I respond, “well at least I have an ‘ish!'”

Seriously though, I’m not effing Irish.  Not even close…except for my pale ass white skin.  Oh, and the fact that I used to demolish Lucky Charms like Ron Jeremy demolished women.  So why the hell do I (I=just about everyone) feel entitled enough to take part in an Irish holiday and get all banged up on what should be a random Wednesday night?

Straight from the Wiki entry (which means it must be true) on ‘St. Patrick’s Day’ – “It is named after Saint Patrick (circa AD 387–461), the most commonly recognized of the patron saints of Ireland. It began as a purely Catholic holiday and became an official feast day in the early 1600s. However, it has gradually become more of a secular celebration of Ireland’s culture.”

So we’ve got a Catholic holiday that has slowly turned into a holiday that celebrates Irish Culture.  Awesome, but guess what?  I’m not Catholic and I know jackshit about Irish culture.  Something tells me if Sean O’Flannigan asked me what I knew about his culture and I responded with, “Jameson, Guinness & the potato famine” he would be somewhat offended.  I mean, if someone likes Latkes (potato pancakes) or Matzoh Ball Soup, then by all means, eat away.  But don’t feel the need to celebrate Hanukah or Passover if the only thing you think you know about Jews is that we are thrifty (which isn’t true, by the way.  Well, I am thrifty, but that’s because I’m cheap…not because I’m Jewish).

I’m not on a high horse here, because as I admitted at the beginning, I’m going to get drunk tonight; and more importantly I’m going to have fun doing it with a bunch of friends and randos all dressed in green.  I just don’t understand how or why a traditionally Irish/Catholic holiday became so widespread.  But then again, I don’t understand why I see the Easter Bunny two weeks after Christmas, or just the Easter Bunny in general.


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