SHE SAID: DJ or band?

April 29, 2010

Jeremy and I have already posted on our love of attending weddings and I can vouch for him being one of the more entertaining wedding guests OF ALL TIME.  Actually, I lie.  Jeremy and I have never attended a wedding together and so I cannot regale you with tales of his chicken dancing, his talent for toasting, or about that time when he tripped while coming off the dance floor and had to be rushed to the emergency room to get a splinter taken out of his palm.  But we both have some weddings under our belts and I know that he enjoys partaking in the merrymaking as much as I.

This past weekend I went to a family wedding and was a little disappointed, at first, to see a DJ’s table in the reception hall.  I don’t mean to offend any DJs or aspiring DJs out there, but I have to confess that when I get to a wedding, seeing a DJ setting up is almost as bad as seeing that the lead singer of the band is sporting a serious mullet and white platform patent leather boots.  You can’t help but start conjuring exit strategies and calculating how much time is appropriate to spend tolerating the music before you can ease out the side door without offending the new couple.  Things could be worse, I’ll admit; a cash bar or some Disney theme …

After the cocktail hour (during which my date and I dominated the bar and thusly were the most obvious candidates to welcome a DJ enthusiastically), we headed into the main room to welcome the bridal party fresh off their photo shoot, toast the couple, eat, and ultimately, dance dance dance.  Only, before the toasting commenced, the DJ had us twirling our napkins over our heads while he paraded around the room in a chef’s hat and managed to get one unlucky fellow (who happened to have said yes when I suggested attending a spring wedding in Connecticut) doing the twist as a demonstration for the whole table.  I was downing drinks faster than a pre-teen who had just discovered virgin piña coladas and anticipating high tailing it after the cake.

And then somewhere in there, the DJ became totally okay.  It was fun hearing songs I hadn’t heard in forever.  It was fun spending the entire night dancing.  I saw my date’s face light up with unbridled enthusiasm when a country favorite was played, my niece jumped at the chance to dance to some Train, and my mother almost cried when Lady in Red started to play.  There was some line dancing, some twisting, some Charleston-ing and some confusion explaining to my mom that it’s okay for two women to dance together – thankfully she got over it and I was able to throw her around on the dance floor a little.

And all of a sudden, my anti-DJ stance went out the window and I owned that dance floor, despite the pain my being out there caused any innocent bystanders.  And maybe the lesson here is that alcohol can make anything fun.  Maybe it’s that we shouldn’t let our stereotypes stop us from having fun or changing our hell bent stance on something.  Maybe it’s that with a little help (be it an informed friend, a strong drink, or an unexpected encounter), an experience we weren’t anticipating or even one that we were dreading, can be a hell of a lot of fun and even memorable.

Although, and this is the one draw back of a DJ, I come from a singing family.  An overwhelming, enthusiastic, and very loving family that happens to love to jump up on stage and start singing, especially at weddings.  My sister has one of the best voices I have ever heard and thankfully, it’s usually her that’s up there.  The one draw back of a DJ is that were one to sing, it ultimately sounds like karaoke.  No matter how stunning the vocals.  And that is where the band comes out the clear winner in this comparison.  Because while karaoke is fun at a dive bar with friends and a healthy sense of confidence, a wedding is neither the time nor the place.

And yes, I was most definitely trying to convince the DJ to let me up there for a few songs on Saturday.


HE SAID: DJ or band?

April 29, 2010

Dare I ask, market research Nifer?

I jest.  I agree with what you’ve written regarding a dj, they can be extremely fun at big parties…but they should be limited to things like sweet 16s, Bar Mitzvahs and perhaps even engagement parties, not a wedding.  See I’ve boiled this down the same way an NFL scout thinks about the draft.  A DJ is like that solid Offensive Lineman you know is going to be a contributor to your team for the next decade, but he is not going to carry your team to the Superbowl.  Basically, his ceiling is only so high.  A band on the other hand is more like the franchise quarterback you take with a top 5 pick expecting to ride him to Disneyland.  Now, I’d equate a Bar Mitzvah, big graduation party, etc to a mid to late first round pick, you don’t need and aren’t expected to get a franchise guy back there.  But a weddding on the other hand, a wedding is like the first pick…you need to blow the shit out of the water with this one.

Only you need to do it better then most NFL teams.  Do some actual research, make sure the band you are getting to going to absolutely crush it.  Don’t hire these guys (yes, I know it’s Lady Gaga but how boring of a perfomrance is that…)  You would probably end up remembering your wedding in the same way the Raiders recall Jamarcus Russell or the Charger Ryan Leaf.  Or how the Broncos will end up remembering Tim Tebow (yes, I know he was a late first rounder but it was probably the worst reach of the draft). Instead, check these guys out…they would be your homerun draft selections like Peyton Manning (i just threw up in my mouth having to write that) and Ricky Williams (not only will he run for lots of yards, he’ll get you high!)

Bottom line(s) are these: your wedding day is one of the more special days you’ll ever have…at least until you split up three years later (hey, statistics don’t lie).  Don’t celebrate it using a DJ who premixed his shit on is MacBook then tries to look cool pretending to spin.  Get a band, a loud rocking band.  The other bottom line is I’ve been looking for any excuse for making fun of the Broncos for drafting Tim Tebow in the first round.


HE SAID: Case of the Mondays?

April 26, 2010

Editors note: I have no idea the whereabouts of She Said, hopefully she is ok…but if not, I am sure she’d want me to post these.

Some youtube clips for your enjoyment. Oh and a shout out to She Said, her post was selected to be on the front page of wordpress.com, resulting in over 4,000 views over the span of a couple days.  I felt famous. So, hoping we get some of those people back I’m going to be annoying and repost our twitter feed and hope to attract a few more followers.  Now, on to the clips –

Perhaps you’ve seen this little chunker singing Lady Gaga already, if you haven’t click here right effing now.  Even if you have, watch it again…it is sure to brighten up what is otherwise a typically awful day.

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Time and time again, Cartman has claimed ‘gingers dont have souls.’  Well, this kid disagrees (i would use headphones for this one).  Here is Cartman’s response.

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Somehow I let the anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s death pass a couple weeks back with no mention.  As such, here is Pearl Jam playing Immortality (often thought to have been written about KC) at the last show I was at.  Less than 3 weeks til the next one…


HE SAID: The 1990s

April 22, 2010

I feel like lots of my time on this blog has been devoted casual references to the epic 1980s.  And besides a few mentions of shows like Beverly Hills, 90210 and Saved by the Bell, we really haven’t given enough credence to the 1990s.  Lots of cool shit went down in the 90s, and I’d like to tell you about some of them

1. The first thing that stands out is 1990s movies that tried so desperately to pretend they were still in the 80s.  Side Out, Days of Thunder, Point Break, Aspen Extreme…all movies made in the 90s.  Hell, Aspen Extreme was made in 1993! Oh and sidenote – if you haven’t seen Side Out, the beach volleyball movie starring C. Thomas Howell and Courtney Throne Smith, netflix the shit out of it.  These movies, from the cheesy soundtracks to the wardrobes scream 1980s, and its sweet.

2. Remember when you could wear a flannel shirt because Eddie Vedder rocked one? Or a cardigan because Kurt Cobain made them popular (I refuse to mention Mr. Rogers, who still gives me nightmares)? Perhaps you forgot, which is easy to do because of all the indie hipsters out there who have made these articles of clothing impossible to wear without the requisite skinny jeans (luckily, we are somewhat safe in Vermont).

3. Speaking of Eddie and Kurt, on the whole the music produced in the 1990s was WAY more memorable than what we get these days.  40 years later and we still talk about the Beatles/Floyd/Zeppelin etc, and in 20 years bands like Nirvana and Pearl Jam will still be known to all (and yes, U effing 2 – though they are an 80s and 90s band).  Hell even Britney Spears will probably be talked about, if only because she’ll be making her 17th comeback.  But music the past 10 years or so, while I’ve enjoyed it, has produced very few, if any bands or artists that have a good chance of making it well into our future. Lady Gaga included.

4. While the 1990s was a decade of futility for teams (Patriots made one super bowl, sucked the rest of the decade; Celtics had their second player in 7 years die of cocaine issues and were a joke; the Red Sox spawned teams that featured names like Damon Buford; and the Bruins weren’t even on anyone’s radar), they were in a sense more enjoyable to watch.  I didn’t know every single thing about every single player – from what PED they were taking to what nightclub they were at trying to have sex with a young coed.  I don’t condone this action, but sometimes ignorance is bliss.

5. I really feel like bad, yet incredibly watchable TV was paramount in the 90s (90210 will not be listed here, it is not a bad show) – Party of Five, Walker Texas Ranger, Melrose Place, Califronia Dreams, Saved the Bell: The College Years, Friends…yup, I said Friends, that show sucked.  Why? Cause Ross is a huge tool. He Said, OUT!


SHE SAID: The 1990s

April 22, 2010

The 90’s.  I entered them wearing scrunchies and pinch rolling my jeans and left them partying in a remote cabin in Northwestern Mass since we were all paranoid about celebrating New Years in a populated place and being decimated. The years 12 to 21 are pretty defining in a young lass’s life, and I had the fortune to spend mine cruising through the 90’s.

1990: My parents switched me to a new school, a private school, and dressed me for my first day in a floor length animal print jumper and a white turtle neck (my mother insisted on outfitting me in animal prints way past when it was socially acceptable to be wearing them) I attempted to salvage the outfit by pairing it with teal blue Converse high tops.  It took me months and months to rebound from that faux pas.

1991: I buy my first cd.  Unfortunately it’s Paula Abdul’s “Forever Your Girl”.  I go shopping in the summer and see that the GAP is no longer pinch rolling their manikin’s jeans and have an internal celebration.

1992: Behind the 8-ball on this one, I purchase Nirvana’s Nevermind and Pearl Jam’s Ten.  I now own three cd’s and consider throwing out Paula, but then my collection would be a third smaller.  I keep Paula.  Later that summer my friend Jill and I spend a month with my family in Nantucket.  Jill, being a gorgeous blond, has guys flocking around her and tolerating her awkward brunette friend (that’s me) and one of them scales the side of our house after curfew to try to get a few extra moments with Jill.  My father catches him and my curfew is set at 9:30pm.

1993: My nieces are collecting Beanie Babies and refuse to take the tags off because it will diminish their value.  I have my first kiss.

1994: Buffalo Bills lose their forth Superbowl in a row.  My boyfriend is playing Doom non-stop and has a CompuServe email address that is a series of numbers strung together ie: 3582745654t23244513259773@compuserve.com.  We all think it is incredibly cool.  Sherryl Crow’s “All I Wanna Do” plays on the radio non-freaking stop and all I wanna do is make it stop.  My brother and his friend go as Tanya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan for Halloween.

1995: I attend my first Dead show in Highgate, VT only because my older brother convinces my mom and dad that the Dead are anti-drugs.  That August, Jerry Garcia dies and I shave my head, but those are unrelated events.

1996: I attend a Dave Matthews Band concert and am beyond mildly obsessed with Oasis and their front-man and resident bad boy, Liam Gallagher.  My younger brother and I go to see the Bevis and Butthead movie in a theater while visiting my father in London.  We giggle the entire movie and I don’t recall hearing a Brit laugh throughout the entirety.

1997: Over Liam Gallagher, I unintentionally insult Ben Folds while waiting in line at a deli and he graciously offers me backstage tickets to the show he’s playing that night.  I become a fan.  Underclassmen are still allowed to drink on campus where I attend school.

1998: The last Seinfeld episode is aired and I feel robbed.  Lou Merloni plays for the Red Sox and my mother, mishearing the fans calling his name, is confused as to why the fans are boo-ing him.  Saturday Night Live relishes in the Monica Lewinsky scandal and briefly stops sucking.

1999: Underclassmen are no longer allowed to drink at parties at my college and binge drinking skyrockets.  Prince’s song is finally applicable.  I get my first cell phone, a Nokia.  The Sopranos and Jon Stewart initiate the salvaging of television.  I finish the year, as I mentioned before, partying in a cabin in Northwestern Mass.  Right before the dropping of the ball, someone puked and accusations flew.


HE SAID: Case of the Mondays?

April 19, 2010

Guess what? The 2010 Webby Award Nominees came out! And guess who got nominated? Not us. But sites we’ve posted sure as hell did.  Check em out here.

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Um – http://www.findagrave.com/ – I guarantee you that you could waste hours on here. For example, check out the “interesting epitaphs” section.  One dentist’s gravestone said, “I’m filling my last cavity.” And yes, for the record I am not depressed and/or suicidal (despite the recent Red Sox effort to drive me there).

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It’s Marathon Monday in the center of the world (Boston).  Here is an old Sports Guy column to assist you.

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Last but not least, if this doesn’t put you in a good mood to start off your week, I don’t know what does. Remember to stand tall on the wings of your dreams.


SHE SAID: Case of the Mondays

April 19, 2010

I love xkcd.com.  Smart, funny, endearing and the guy is, to put it mildly, a bit of a math/science nerd.  I’m a fan.

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If I could get confirmation that this guy is declaring his love for Brenda Walsh, I think I could take a lot of joy in teasing Jeremy about being only the second biggest 90210 fan for the rest of his life.

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Dwarf catching has been officially recognized as a sport and is going to be in the 2012 Olympics.  It’s being included in the summer games as the snow depth might give the hunters an unfair advantage in the winter months.

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A while back, I wrote some lyrics and a friend set them to music.  While the video isn’t all that exciting, he’s clearly very talented and I figured some variation in Monday postings would be fun.

I’ll spare you the lyrics in their entirety, but here is the first verse …

surviving on empty vapors that outlived the dream
as disgusted as empty hands still seeping nicotine
and the groundwork we laid before we doused it with kerosene
all weightless and formless with both sides burned from the steam.