HE SAID: Holiday Music

There are two different aspects of your post I’d like to address.  First of all, with regards to “the Jews needing to step it up…”  Basically, we don’t.  Even since I’ve been alive people accuse the Jews (and by the way, when I say “jews” it is ok, because I’m Jewish; when you say it, you sound somewhat anti-semitic…just sayin) of commercializing Chanukah just to compete with JC’s birthday celebration.  That is a load of horsepoop.  The bottom line is our people know how to properly celebrate our holidays.  Chanukah, in the grand scheme of things, is really not that big of a deal on the Hebrew calendar.  It is cause for minor celebration, and minor celebration is what we do.  The minute Counting Crows (isn’t Adam Duritz tribal?) release an album full of Chanukah songs will be the day I completely renounce my religion, as opposed to the 99% I already have.

You people, yeah…you people, on the other hand get all your holidays out of whack.  You celebrate JC’s birthday for an entire month these days, it’s absurd; the only people I know who have birthday months are female princess types, who may or may not be Jewish.  Don’t get me started on that whole “our founder was killed and then resurrected himself so let’s celebrate with the bunny” thing…

Before I go any further, know that I am not a typical lonely Jew on Christmas, local families take me in and I have really cherished my last few December 24th/25ths…I am not Kyle Broflosky.

As for Christmas music, I’m not going to lie…I hate it, I really do.  The odd thing is I love Christmas eve and Christmas day, I guess it’s just the month leading up to it that gets under my skin, which is when I’m exposed to most of the music.  The other problem is I find the chipper tunes overly cheesy, and the not-so-chipper tunes so sentimental they honestly get me in a down mood.  Hearing, “Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas” on the radio, on an 8 degree snowy night in Vermont, when you are driving in the car alone…well, it’s effing depressing. If I were president, I’d ban Christmas music until December 18th, I think that would actually make me appreciate it more.  Of course, other people might disagree and enjoy hearing it the day Halloween ends, but this blog is not about them.

Finally, I agree with you about Colbie Caillat.  But if she shows up on my doorstep wearing a naughty Santa outfit offering to sing “Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas” I don’t think I’d turn it down…

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