HE SAID: Case of the Mondays?

February 28, 2011

In case anyone missed it, here is the highlight for last night’s Oscars for the hosts…oh wait, there were none so we’ll just skip to something else. Actually, first I’d like to say that as much as I loved The Kings’ Speech, I do not believe it was picture of the year. I support Firth for winning Best Actor, and I thought Rush deserved Supporting just as much (if not more) than Bale. But as an entire movie, I do not think it was on quite the same level as some of the others up for Best Picture…except The Kids Are All Right.

Best speech with an F-Bomb

Best Overall Speech

Full List of Winners

 

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HE SAID: Taxes

February 26, 2011

Now, I’m writing this after gathering all my information for the 2010 Tax year, making sure I have everything in order, and calculating things I can write off. Take into account that I don’t even do my own taxes, I simply hand all this stuff off to my CPA, and realize that I am still beyond frustrated by this process. Oh, let’s not forget that I will eventually receive a nice little check from Uncle Sam (being a homeowner and a student has its’ benefits), and I am still ready to punch the effing wall. So, I guess my point is…if I am annoyed, even though compared to most I have very little right to be, what about the general public? In the words of a frequent reader of this blog…

“answer me this…I pay the govt so much of my pay check every month…it is a lot, how do I STILL owe them more money? i fu*&ing hate it
don’t get married, and rent, you get so screwed, or have a good job”

Hmm, sounds like he is real enamored with our government. Now, this is not a referendum on taxes or the Obama administration. I was into politics for three years of my undergraduate career, and that was only because it was probably the easiest major at my institution of “higher” education. My only argument is with the process itself.

I realize they have things like TurboTax out there and companies like H&R Block to make things easier, but even looking at the questionnaire my accountant sends me freaks me out. Why are there so many goddamn lines involved in preparing taxes? Why can’t the questions be simple? I am a smart guy, not a genius by any means, but most that know me would probably describe me as ‘intelligent.’ When I start to look at tax stuff I feel like a typical American trying to explain the rules of cricket (why do some games take 5 effing days?!).

Was the system created to help fund accountants and tax lawyers (after all I’m sure I’ll need one after getting audited because I’m sure Big Brother is reading this post)? Think about it…if filling out your tax form were “ritard” proof, there would be thousands upon thousands of people without jobs. But it’s not, instead taxes are more complicated than the SAT’s. So until the system changes, I’m happy to give some business to my CPA, because who knows, maybe in the future, a future where taxes would take 5 minutes to complete, a future where a good friend doesn’t tell me not to get married or a get a good job, a future where I do get laid on a regular basis (hmm, how’d that sneak in there)…there will no longer be a need for accountants.


SHE SAID: Taxes

February 26, 2011

Complaining about taxes is kind of like complaining about the weather when it’s 3 degrees outside, raining hail and blowing enough that the trees are threatening your roof.  I don’t know anyone who rubs their hands together come tax time and says, “Yes!  My favorite!”  And I do know people who love the dentist, so I know people who are okay with and maybe even slightly enjoy discomfort and pain.  And while one would like to think the US Government would pick up on this, they still make us muddle through the tedium of our our taxes, wait in endless lines to get our license renewed or mail a package around lunch time, and wait until we’re 21 to buy a drink at a bar.  Clearly they aren’t checking the comments box.

I think the problem though, is us.  While the system is definitely not the easiest, we, Jeremy and I, are also taking the more difficult route.  I am in the midst of compiling a spreadsheet from our home renovation receipts for taxes, which is making life not as fun in the evenings (I hope my CPA is cool with wine stains).  What I should have done is not fixed up anything in the house, not bought a house, not been self employed, and not be with someone who is self employed.  Since we did buy the house, fix up the house and both work for ourselves, we are doing a ton of extra work in the hopes that we might be able to get a little bit of a break.  And that’s before handing it off to our CPA who will hopefully make some sense of my rambling spreadsheets and make sure we haven’t screwed up somewhere along the line all while charging us as little as possible.

I’m dreaming big.

What I always wonder about, and I don’t have any accountant friends to answer this for me, is what the hell do accountants do from April 16th to mid-January.  I’m sure there are some people who get extensions, but it must be pretty slow come April 16th.   Are you twiddling your thumbs for most of the year and pulling your hair out for the other 12 weeks?  Are you not sleeping for 12 weeks and then reading Gravity’s Rainbow or the Bible cover to cover the other 40?

And, fittingly enough, I’m going to end this and get back to my gripping spreadsheets.  I’m kind of hoping when I do hand them in (I feel like I’m in school again saying that) my CPA will say something like, “wow, look at how well this information is all laid out.” Something to give me a little pat on the back for putting in all this effort instead of handing over a shoe box full of receipts.  Although, I guess saving the money I would have paid her to go through the box is recognition enough.  Maybe.


SHE SAID: Case of the Mondays?

February 21, 2011

Some videos that made me laugh this week.  First off, a baby trashing a bar:

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An “oddly erotic” Elvis, rocking out in Jerusalem in Pariah Beat’s new video:

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What would it be like to sleep with a book, not an author, but a book.  For example, “You don’t fuck The FountainheadThe Fountainhead fucks you.”

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Daily Affirmations for Realists.

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HE SAID: Case of the Mondays?

February 21, 2011

Ok this week I’m going to devote it all to the NBA All-Star Game. Wait, no I won’t, because no one gives a crap about it. However, I think we will stay sports themed…

Speaking of NBA All-Star Game, I think Blake Griffin might have brought back the Dunk Contest.

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Dives happen all the time on a tennis court. Successful dives that coincide with a winner on match point...not so much.

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Ok, I lied, not all sports…but this Non-Response Text Message Flow Chart is priceless.

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Lose out on your SuperBowl bets? Fear not, bet on the Oscars.


HE SAID: Case of the Mondays?

February 14, 2011

Valentines Day edition.

This will be simple….here are the first 3 SFW youtube clips I thought of when I woke up this morning and realized I’d be having Valentines Day dinner alone. Actually, with my parents…but same thing really.

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actually the next one was a scene from a porn…so we’ll just skip to another…

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HE SAID: Case of the Mondays?

February 7, 2011

Superbowl edition. I feel great today…a little bittersweet about Tom Brady winning the first ever unanimous MVP, but having to watch two teams that were not the New England Patriots in the superbowl. But karma served Big Ben, and I’m glad the Steelers lost.

Here is my least favorite Superbowl ad: Groupon making a joke out of Tibet…Who was the genius in marketing that gave the ok on this one?

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Pretty fun article from Wilbon on attending Obama’s Superbowl Party.

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Sportspickle’s twitter feed, read through the timeline for superbowl tweets. My favorite – ‘hope this year’s wardrobe malfunction is Fergie’s throat spontaneously combusting.’