SHE SAID: Brett Favre … really!?

October 8, 2010

Maybe we should switch this blog to consist solely of open letters to Brett Favre.  It sounds like he could use the input.  In addition to Jeremy’s requesting his official and final retirement, I would add a big “really!?”

I think teenagers are foolish for sending pictures of themselves naked or barely clothed.  Unfortunately, the inevitable release of these photos into the viral wilds of the high school halls leads to embarrassment, bullying, and at best, a life lesson learned.  As adults, I like to think we know better.  Although she’s an adult, I think Courtney Love is foolish as well, but her being cracked out most of the time is a legitimate defense.  Plus, the pictures are more of a life lesson in terrifying people away from drugs, so it’s almost a public service that she tweets so honestly about her life.

And then we have Brett, who has no drug addiction to back up his latest blunder.  No, I’m not talking about wearing crocs as a grown adult (which apparently he was donning in one of the texted photos), but Deadspin’s breaking news item.  And, as an older, married, seemingly intelligent man in a high profile position, I would like to think he would know better than to use MySpace and texts if he was interested in wooing someone.  The MySpace mention was enough for me not to believe the allegations (who even uses MySpace anymore?).  But why would a successful athlete put himself out on a limb and send those texts?  Did he not consider that might come back to haunt him?  Why did he figure that sending her pictures of him holding himself and possibly pleasuring himself would win her over?  Are our treasured athletes that removed from reality that he thought that would work?  And how idiotic do you have to be to provide that material (or ammo) to someone who isn’t a trusted confidant?

While I’m flabbergasted that someone who has the ability to lead a team would make such a grave alleged mistake, ultimately, I’m not sure that I care that much.  Mr. Favre has shown season and season again with his numerous painfully timed temporary retirements, that he is more interested in himself than his team.  Why am I surprised that this mentality carries over to other aspects of his life?  It’s his marriage to screw up, it’s his endorsements to lose, and it’s his lack of six inches that’s getting scrutinized online.  And so all I’m left with, in the words of Tina Fey and Seth Meyers, is … Really!?


HE SAID: Brett Favre…Really!?

October 8, 2010

Well written Nifer, for the most part.  Before I delve into the topic of penis pictures and text messages, allow me if you will to dispell one notion – “While I’m flabbergasted that someone who has the ability to lead a team would make such a grave alleged mistake.”  He no longer has the ability to lead a team, at least to a superbowl; and hasn’t in over a decade (and quite honestly, even that is in question – if my cousin Desmond Howard hadn’t had his best kick return game ever against the Patriots, Favre would be like Marino – ringless, albeit with less of a cocaine issue).  The only thing Favre has done is lead his team to disappointment.

And now, the old gunslinger has led his family down the same path.  Can we officially change his nickname by the way, I vote for Jason Whitlock of

Favre's career has been better than Oden's...but apparently Greg makes up for it in other ways.

FoxSports idea – Dongslinger.  What scares me about this story (besides Brett Favre on myspace), as well as the Greg Oden one from earlier this year,is how many pictures of athletes’ dongs are actually out there.  These are just two guys who got caught, imagine the plethora of penis pics there are from well known athletes just floating out there in cyberspace somewhere.  There is also a side of this story that pisses me off…why haven’t any men come out and revealed some pictures of Anna Kournikova in the nude?  You are going to tell me that in all her years of partying in Miami she didn’t make just one mistake.  My imagination refuses to believe that.

Or maybe, she is just one of the normal ones.  Someone who doesn’t deem it necessary to show off her goods in an effort to woo men.  And let’s face it, she doesn’t really need to.  But seriously, I really wish she did.

I also don’t want to stand down from my pulpit without touching (pun intended) on Jenn Sterger at all.  Before I rip her apart for being a media whore, I want to first say that she is not to blame for the start of this mess; as in just because she looks good is not an excuse for some older creep to text her pics of him slinging his gun (see what I did there).  However, I do have to question why this is becoming national news two years later…is her tv career not going as well as she planned? Ratings down over on the Versus network? Trying to drum up news ahead of some B movie she will probably star in later.  Again, #4 is alone in creating this mess, but it’s at least partially a two way street now.

I’ll leave us with a thought…what if Favre wasn’t married? Would this really be so bad? Gross, yes. But in some ways I still don’t think it would merit the national news attention it would receive anyway, married or not.  As the aforementioned Whitlock tweeted, “Think about it: do we really wanna live n a society in which a middle-aged man can’t showcase his junk n pursuit of a younger woman?”  However that leads more to a whole other topic on today’s media. But it’s friday, and it’s almost time for yoga…

HE SAID: Case of the Mondays?

August 9, 2010

I’m actually writing this Sunday night, because after four 10 hour tennis teaching days, capped off with day drinking on a boat, I think I am going to sleep until noon tomorrow…and I can do that since I have nothing to do for three weeks. Sweet.

This is NSFW…but is a hilarious Lebron commercial about the rumors that former teammate was ‘having relations’ with Bron Bron’s mom.


My favorite current Brett Favre is retiring article (with subtle hints that Favre is a dbag)


Not one of the new tracks, but the closing number at Arcade Fire’s “Unstaged” youtube concert last week at MSG.


Because of the awful experience I had with US Airways this week, I figured I would provide you with google results for the term ‘US air sucks’…there is actually some funny crap out there.

HE SAID: Dear Mr. Brett Favre

June 26, 2009

brett-favreDear Mr. Favre,
With all due respect, and remember I’m saying ‘with all due respect,’ please go the fuck away. I could stop there, because that is the bottom line, but I am one verbose individual so I’ll start from the beginning.

For about half of my life, I viewed you as a hero. I didn’t care about the painkillers, the Wrangler jeans, or the fact that you destroyed my beloved Patriots over a decade ago in the Super Bowl. The only thing I saw was a guy who was the ultimate competitor – you hated to lose, and you loved to win. No matter what. For too many athletes this generation they would rather have great stats in a losing effort than a subpar game in a win (eg – Vince Carter). Why? Because they are all about the big payday. And while I’m not going to sit here and pretend you didn’t care about a large paycheck, but you appeared to care about winning lots more. And appearances are all that matter when it comes to fans, because for as much as we’d like to pretend, we don’t really know you.

But now I’ve turned against you. I realize it’s a bit of a cliche, since the whole world seems against you now, but you’ve only yourself to blame. You mulled retirement after the 2005, 2006 AND 2007 seasons, effectively holding your beloved Packers hostage each time. Finally, after the 2008 season, you retired. Then what seemed like two days later you unretired and forced your teams hand into dealing you to the Jets (this I was secretly excited about, because as a Pats fan I knew you would bring extreme joy followed by immense sorrow to the POS Jets fans, and you did not disappoint)!

Then, after a brilliant start to the season in which people fell in love with Brett “the Gungslinger” Favre again the clock struck 12 and you turned into the over the hill quarterback we all knew you were. So, you retired, afuckinggain. And now you reportedly want to play for the Minnesota Vikings…why? To get revenge against the Packers, the team and city that embraced you for 15 years! The same team that by ‘mulling’ over your feelings you effectively ruined their chances at a decent team for the past five years.

There have been many athletes who have taken this route, and all have managed to tarnish their reputations (think Jerry Rice with Oakland & Michael Jordan with Washington). Please just call it a day, I want to remember you like this, not like this.

I know no one can ultimately tell you how to live your life, but sometimes it takes an outside perspective to realize certain truths.

Yours Truly,

99% of NFL fans.

PS – I was kidding about the Wrangler Jeans.  They suck and so do the commercials.  I tried a pair on and they are not Real. Comfortable. Jeans.

SHE SAID: Dear Mr. Brett Favre

June 26, 2009

Dear Mr. Favre,

I loved you in “There’s Something About Mary”.  I imagine you knew about the whole “Fav-re” bit and it was pretty funny, as was your whole role in that movie.

I get what it’s like to hold onto something.  I’m not a pack rat and there are pointless things I hold on to because someone special gave it to me, or things I hold on to that are damaged and will never be the same because I remember how spectacular they were in their prime.  You,  my friend, are in the second category.

It’s okay to retire and feel as if there is something left on the table.  To quote Neil Young and every high school year book senior’s page: “it’s better to burn out than fade away.”  You’re fading.  You had the chance to burn out.  You’re causing heartbreak and now, even worse, annoyance.  You’re the person on the deathbed that the relatives are saying, we just hope he’s out of his misery soon.  They’ve stopped regaling anyone who will listen with stories of your greatness.

It’s a fine line, I would imagine, as a top athlete, to realize when you should retire.  I think we would all agree you want to do it while you still have something to offer, but not while you have a lot left to offer.  And that will always be an unknown, again, ideally, once the decision has been made.

And yet, I understand how in the twilight of your career you’re having a hard time letting go just as I have a hard time letting go of my first pair of Seven jeans that have long since thinned out and ripped up the ass and been patched and repaired by my mom.  Because in our heyday, it was awesome and I have never loved a pair of jeans like I did and still do those Sevens.  The point is, I only wear them around the house.  I pull them out and look at the wash and think, “they don’t wash them like this anymore.”  Your career is like my Sevens.  Ripped and patched on the ass and worn so thin that if donned again the neighborhood will have nothing left to the imagination.  The difference being, you’re wearing them out of the house. No, no, Mr. Favre.

But this seems to be a lesson you are hellbent on learning the hard way which is unfortunate because it’s almost painful to watch.  I say almost, because your ego, on which this is all based, makes it less painful.

Have fun beating the dead horse.  Wear an apron, it can get messy.