SHE SAID: The Doctor’s Office

March 16, 2011

Hi, Jeremy.  I don’t believe we’ve met.  I’m Nifer, your co-blogger, and people like me are the reason why doctor’s offices run late.  Perhaps you’ve read my earlier post on the importance of being on time.  Or seen one of my kind running in 15 minutes after the appointment and being handed the clipboard of epic paperwork to fill out before we can even think of seeing the doctor.  We’re annoying as all hell, and if it makes you feel any better, I get rolled eyes, nasty nurses, and satanic receptionists on a regular basis.  It’s all part of my master plan to help you find more time to read.

But more importantly, I want to point out what a champion idiot you are for scheduling anything medically related past 11 am.  I thought everyone knew you just do not schedule doctor’s appointments for the afternoon.  Due to assholes like myself who thinks the world can wait for them, emergency appointments and patients (laugh lines can sneak up on you and when they do, I find Botox needs to be injected immediately) and long question and answer sessions for many appointments, there is no way in hell a doctor’s office is operating on schedule come 11 am.

You’re old enough to know better.

I’m worried I need to remind you, or alert you of other things I just assumed you knew.  When it’s cold out, put on a hat, a jacket, or both.  Don’t ask a woman you’re having an argument with if she’s “on her period”.  Use something other than a metal utensil while cooking in a non-stick pan.  Don’t refer to another woman as the C-word in front of 99.9% of women.  If someone writes you an email needing your credit card number and social security number, it’s a scam.

What else have I assumed you knew all this time?!