HE SAID: Moving

February 10, 2010

Here’s a solution, click here and break out your Visa, Mastercard or Amex (but not Discovercard, those are for losers).  For those too lazy to click on the link, it’s a google search for Vermont area moving companies.  The last time I moved all I really had was clothes, a few random kitchen things, and a TV.  And I swore I’d never do it again.

Seriously, I’d rather take out a second mortgage to pay movers to move my shit for me.  Break something? So long as it’s not my flatscreen or sega genesis, I could really give a shit.  While I admire you for your gusto (read: thriftiness) in moving yourself, as Denzel said in Book of Eli (which really impressed me), “There is always a choice.”  The choice here: move yourself and be miserable for a week, or spend a bit of your savings/lay off the drugs for a bit and pay someone to do it for you.  Just kidding, my cowriter does not have a drug problem, as far as I know.

Clearly, I agree with everything you said in your post regarding moving, otherwise I wouldn’t be arguing so vehemently  about paying movers to do it for you.  Thus, I feel no need to repeat what you said.  But there is one crucial apsect to moving that you didn’t seem to mention – unpacking.

All those boxes aren’t gonna unpack themselves.  You need to reorganize all that shit yourself.  To me, that’s the worst part.  I’ve spent the last 3.5 years getting my condo in order how I like it…now you are telling me I have to do it all again?  As far as I know, moving companies will unpack the big stuff for you and set it up, but they aren’t hanging your framed October 28, 2004 front page from the Boston Globe above your shitter for you so you can see Varitek jumping into Foulke’s arms every time you take a leak.

So I guess what I’m saying is – never move.  Unless you are A. living with a crackhead roommate B. in a bad relationship C. living next to Snookie.