SHE SAID: Passive Aggressiveness

September 22, 2010

I’m surprised, given that I’m a woman and Jeremy is Jewish, that we haven’t covered this topic yet, but a certain Facebook post today provided me with some inspiration to post.

HeSaid’s status? “maybe i feel the need to be more diversified because i no longer have a blog partner.”

It’s all there.  The cry for pity.  The posturing.  And the zinger.

There’s only one thing to say: he’s a pro.  And you thought he was all about 90210 mourning and Brett Favre ruminating.

And to a certain extent, it seems that as a woman, it is either expected from me, or accepted and tolerated from my sex.  The classic example is the woman who gets mad at her spouse or significant other for not reading her mind.  It happens, I know people like that – the idea isn’t coming from thin air.

And yes, I have been delinquent.  That’s putting it nicely.  If this was my job I would have been fired months ago.  I realize that.  It’s there, in the back of my mind.  My dropping this blog like a my son dropped playmobile when he discovered Star Wars.

But I was not expecting it from my blog partner, despite his being Jewish. I’m kidding.   And all I mean from that is that the stereotype is there, think George Costanza’s mother on Seinfeld.  But Jeremy going to such great and very public lengths to get my attention instead of calling, texting, emailing, IM-ing me to get my ass in gear and post was not expected.

And the worst part of this passive aggressive attack?  It worked.  Because I posted.  You’d think after years of exposure I would have been able to resist.

SHE SAID: Case of the Mondays?

August 2, 2010

My friend Robbie is frustrated that Coke’s cost a lot of money, and I concur.  Although, it is odd that we pay for things that are bad for us, we should be used to it by now.  Amazingly enough, I have discovered via this website, that you are more than twice as likely to die from a vending machine accident as you are from a shark attack.  So now sodas are expensive, bad for you, AND retrieving one is dangerous.


Russian photographer Sergey Larenkov combines old WWII photos with photographs taken recently.


Whatever you do, do not listen to this advice, crackerpants.

SHE SAID: Case of the Mondays

May 17, 2010

Keep paying attention to the Gulf as the tragedy continues to unfold.  According to NPR, the recent oil spill in the Gulf “could become the nation’s worst environmental disaster in decades, threatening hundreds of species of fish, birds and other wildlife along the Gulf Coast, one of the world’s richest seafood grounds, teeming with shrimp, oysters and other marine life.” Now possibly larger than the 1989 Valdez spill, BP’s CEO, Tony Hayward continued BP’s offensively cavalier attitude by calling the spill “relatively tiny” when compared to the “very big ocean”.  BP and the government continue to downplay the importance of the actual numbers of gallons of oil being released into the Gulf, claiming to be more concerned about stopping the flow of oil.  Scientists disagree, saying that the size of the spill is instrumental in finding out the amount of damage being done.  For a comprehensive slide show of images taken the past few days, click here.


Frustrated with the limitations of Facebook and Youtube?  Meet Gink.


The 19 most hilariously failed attempts at sexy album covers can be viewed here.


I made a dried fig, prosciutto, feta and arugula pizza the other night that was based off my friend Lee’s concoction.  Her’s was better, because the crust was crunchier which went really well with the flavors and texture of the pizza, but mine was still pretty good.  The recipe is similar to this one, minus the rosemary, but the dried figs in addition to the jam were really what sent it over the top for me.  Lee wants to use some caramelized onions next time we make it, which I think will be pretty good.

SHE SAID: Case of the Mondays?

May 10, 2010

Unless you’ve been in a cave or on an island without internet, I’m sure you heard Betty White was the host of SNL this weekend.  That was enough incentive for me to watch it, but I can’t speak for Jeremy. Despite her not being on Facebook, the campaign to get Betty White to host SNL that was started on Facebook was successful.  She crushed it – and performed in almost every skit throughout the night.  SNL brought out some of my favorite skits: the NPR delicious dish women and the Lawrence Welk show.  Betty White’s career in acting and television is long and distinguished, (including her discovery a small town weatherman she thought had potential named David Letterman) and this article claims it’s arguable that she has spent more time on television than anyone.


Yet another reason I should look into deleting my Facebook account …. more privacy issues.  It’s getting old.


A really interesting article reflecting on the background and environment of men’s lacrosse and how that mindset and mentality might have played into the tragedy at UVA written by a contemporary of George Huguely’s.


My favorite gnocchi recipe from EatingWell magaine.


Ferris Bueller is tweeting.  Or was.  Twitter based re-enactment of the 25 year-old throughout the movie (@ferris_bueller_).  Locations were also being updated via foursquare.  He’s tweeted the plot of his whole movie and it’s kind of left me wanting more.


Never, ever date a Flyers fan.  Even if she shaves her mustache. The Bruins play tonight and I’m hoping home ice can help secure a win.

SHE SAID: Case of the Wednesdays?

March 23, 2010

Despite lugging my laptop along with me on my trip, the internet was broken.  To find other means of getting on-line was just too taxing, or, rather, I didn’t feel like driving 25 minutes to find some wi-fi so I could post on Monday morning.  I didn’t have internet for 4 days – the longest stretch I’ve done in years.  But, four books and 36 miles of running later, I’m back.

_______  I’m both awed and upset.  Awed at the amount of lame/weird/personal stuff people advertise on facebook and upset that while Jeremy and I have mocked our mutual friends who share too much, we didn’t think of starting up a site like this.  I highly recommend the relationship section.


Apparently this is the new thing to do as a teenage girl.  I’m so glad this stuff wasn’t around when I was in high school.


What would you do for five dollars?  I can’t think of anything right now, other than correctly load your dishwasher.


My friend came up with the term “bonsai’d” for when you’re getting pigeonholed at work and are allowed no upward movement, etc.  I am pretty psyched about the chance to use this phrase in conversation soon.  Until then, I think I might submit him for entry here.

SHE SAID: Technology, you’re not helping

September 13, 2009


Women obsess.  We obsess and over think and tweak out about small stuff sometimes and need to be reminded to calm down.  We make things more difficult than they often times need be, and yes, we expect you to read our minds sometimes even though we give no indication as to what we are thinking or want.  We also, on occasion, obsess about guys.  I like to think I do it less than most, but Jeremy might disagree with me wholeheartedly.

At this point in time, I have more single friends than I have had in a long time.  It’s fun.  We see a lot of each other and we talk a lot more than we would were we all seeing someone.  Inevitably though and more and more frequently, I feel, this talk turns to men and how my friends are looking for a normal guy who won’t cheat on them, doesn’t laze around smoking weed all day, has ambition, likes to laugh and also wants to have sex with them since the days are turning into weeks and months at this point.

Doesn’t seem like a lot to ask.  And yet, the search has made many a sane woman go completely off her rocker.

And what’s more, this access to a million different types of technology is not helping.  So, instead of thinking about a guy all day and wondering why he’s not calling or pursuing her, one friend can check his Facebook page seven times an hour.  Another can email a guy ten times before lunch.  Texting back and forth or sometimes just forth, forwarding on his email for dissection by friends …. the access to information brings the level of obsession through the roof.

But this has been covered.  I admittedly saw He’s Just Not That Into You while stuck on a very long plane ride back from Prague.  Disclaimer: the idea was it would be so bad that I would sleep, instead I was awake and forced to watch a terribly movie on a very tiny screen.  But, I’m used to small screens at this point.  My point being, Drew Barrymore’s character has a funny line about when you’re wondering if a guy is going to contact you, you have way too many places to check (email, myspace, facebook, voicemails on land or cell phones, text, IM ….)

What hasn’t been covered is what happens when the technology we so readily abuse ends up screwing us instead.

Exhibit A: I once dated a guy who didn’t want anyone to know we were dating.  For almost three years, we dated secretly (yes, I have numerous issues stemming from this, but we’ll talk about that another time).  Thinking I was emailing him, I sent on an email to a mutual friend.  The cat was so out of the bag.  What was funnier was my follow up email, pretending I had been kidding in the first.

Exhibit B: A friend, forgetting her crush’s email address, tried to select just his name from a list so she could continue their flirtation.  Instead, she sent on their string of flirtatious emails to all of their mutual friends … one of whom was her brother.

Exhibit C: Another friend, thinking she was emailing someone on Facebook, posted private and intimate details on her boyfriend’s wall.

Exhibit D: Thinking she was texting someone else about breaking up with her boyfriend, a friend ended up sending the text to him instead.  Interestingly enough, it made the whole break up a lot easier than she had anticipated.

Technology, you’re not helping.  You’re making everything easier, more immediate, more accessible, and inevitably harder.  Because you don’t take the giddy factor into the equation.  Our minds are racing, we’re obsessing and over thinking and hoping … and only then we realize we hit the wrong button.  The room for error is just wide enough to provide some disastrous results.

But of course, it all makes for a great story somewhere far enough down the line.

SHE SAID: Omegle

May 14, 2009

Omegle was started by an 18-year-old high school student who lives in Brattleboro, Vermont and the entire premise is online chatting … with a complete stranger.  When you start a chat, you are “you” and the person you’re chatting with is “stranger”.  Unless you dig for more details, you don’t get any.  No witty username, no icon, personalized font and color, nothing.  For a better understanding of this post – I suggest you click here to try it out or read this post for more information.

omegleWhile I get that an 18 year old in Vermont would find the idea of a stranger to talk to exciting, after spending some time on line doing “research”, I think I’m too old for Omegle.  Or, just not enough of a wing nut.

My favorite conversation went like this:

You: please don’t say something weird
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I have so many meaningless conversations in a day, I’m usually aching for a meaningful one.  Between the countless encounters one has in a small town and the rushed nature of our day to day lives, I seldom find myself sitting with someone I care about talking about what really matters in either our lives or our world.  Going online to talk to someone I don’t know is yet another, and the chances of that conversation turning into something meaningful are even less.  Even if it were to become so, the randomness, the anonymity of it would nullify any authenticity.

So fine, this is supposed to be fake, fun, whatever it evolves into.  Let’s spend some time delving into the pointless.

When I first heard about Omegle and sent the link to my friends, we were in hysterics about some of the conversations.  Strangers would open with completely bizarre comments, sometimes a little scary, sometimes uncomfortable, you never knew what you were going to get.  While that is still the case, in the month or two that Omegle has been up, I find it has been taken over by salacious chatters who immediately get straight to the point: a/s/l (yes, I had to ask what that meant: age/sex/language) and one conversation went immediately to this:

Stranger: do u like sex?
Stranger: have u got a webcam?
Stranger: can i see u?
Stranger: please
You have disconnected.

It’s like a one night stand, only without foreplay, alcohol or the bad come on line and instead, pleading?

Now let’s add my teenage nieces have access to Omegle, as does … anyone.  Seem a little scary yet?

I get the ideal of why a conversation with a complete stranger would be refreshing and unique.  It’s like freshman year at college: you had the choice to be you, or the choice to start over and not be the nerd or bitch, or nerdy bitch in my case, that you were in high school.  Only, this is repeated conversations with strangers, repeated potential persona’s and the result reminds me of an experiment from a Psych 101 class.  When asked to write on a blank piece of paper what we would do if we were invisible for an entire day, almost all the answers were a variation on two things:  1. spy on women changing and 2. rob a bank.  Imagine hearing those answers read aloud 350 times.  It was funny, then staggering, then just plain old depressing.

Unfortunately, the reality of Omegle is an anonymous expanse in which it becomes depressingly clear how little people are actually interested in what we have to say to each other and how important a/s/l is once our pesky pretense at sincerity is no longer required or needed.

Like I said, I’m too old for this.