HE SAID: Autocorrect

March 9, 2011

*Note – this is aimed at all people (not just my lovely co-writer) who bitch about autocorrect, because there are lots of you…

It’s a bit difficult for me to commiserate with all you people & your annoyance at autocorrect; because after all, I still have an old school phone. It’s not exactly a Zac Morris style Nokia, I personally think it’s top of the line as far as non-smart phones go, but still, it doesn’t come with all the bells and whistles that you iphone and droid users get. For example, I need to actually think for myself when sending a text message. So maybe the tune I’m singing will change once I convert to the Verizon iphone in a couple months, but until then I have one, small piece of advice – all of you should probably just shut the eff up.

Actually, I just realized that I lied…in a way I do have access to autocorrect, because every so often I’ll use the wifi feature on my iTouch and send an email or two, perhaps write a match.com message, who knows. But you know what I do when I write such a message? I make sure I don’t write anything that makes me look like an fu*%ing moron. Seriously, how hard is that to do? If you want to convey that you are out at the bars getting “SHITHOUSED” then pay a tiny bit of attention to your message, think a tiny bit for yourself, and make sure the “i” gets placed in the word. Unless of course you are actually that drunk…in which case while it is understandable you misspelling a word, at what age does it become less than cool to text your friends about how drunk you are?

I’m really trying my hardest to come up with something that makes me feel bad for you people…but all of you are using a phone worth more than the money in my checking account that allows you to do pretty much anything with the touch of your finger – you can do your banking, play angry birds, watch porn, listen to music, and even make a phone call or two. Yet you people choose to complain about a feature that is trying to help you? Just because you are too lazy to do some thinking, don’t blame Steve Jobs, he has enough to worry about.

HE SAID: Case of the Mondays?

July 26, 2010

I should be spending my time typing up 40 or so references for a paper I’m working on, but I think in properly researching Monday links I’m showing that my priorities lie in the right place…we will start off with Seth Meyer’s opening ESPYs monologue.


Steve Jobs press conference…collegehumor dot com style.


The best, best of craigslist, post I’ve ever seen.


Why oh why do I find watching a robot learning to flip pancakes entertaining?