SHE SAID: DJ or band?

April 29, 2010

Jeremy and I have already posted on our love of attending weddings and I can vouch for him being one of the more entertaining wedding guests OF ALL TIME.  Actually, I lie.  Jeremy and I have never attended a wedding together and so I cannot regale you with tales of his chicken dancing, his talent for toasting, or about that time when he tripped while coming off the dance floor and had to be rushed to the emergency room to get a splinter taken out of his palm.  But we both have some weddings under our belts and I know that he enjoys partaking in the merrymaking as much as I.

This past weekend I went to a family wedding and was a little disappointed, at first, to see a DJ’s table in the reception hall.  I don’t mean to offend any DJs or aspiring DJs out there, but I have to confess that when I get to a wedding, seeing a DJ setting up is almost as bad as seeing that the lead singer of the band is sporting a serious mullet and white platform patent leather boots.  You can’t help but start conjuring exit strategies and calculating how much time is appropriate to spend tolerating the music before you can ease out the side door without offending the new couple.  Things could be worse, I’ll admit; a cash bar or some Disney theme …

After the cocktail hour (during which my date and I dominated the bar and thusly were the most obvious candidates to welcome a DJ enthusiastically), we headed into the main room to welcome the bridal party fresh off their photo shoot, toast the couple, eat, and ultimately, dance dance dance.  Only, before the toasting commenced, the DJ had us twirling our napkins over our heads while he paraded around the room in a chef’s hat and managed to get one unlucky fellow (who happened to have said yes when I suggested attending a spring wedding in Connecticut) doing the twist as a demonstration for the whole table.  I was downing drinks faster than a pre-teen who had just discovered virgin piña coladas and anticipating high tailing it after the cake.

And then somewhere in there, the DJ became totally okay.  It was fun hearing songs I hadn’t heard in forever.  It was fun spending the entire night dancing.  I saw my date’s face light up with unbridled enthusiasm when a country favorite was played, my niece jumped at the chance to dance to some Train, and my mother almost cried when Lady in Red started to play.  There was some line dancing, some twisting, some Charleston-ing and some confusion explaining to my mom that it’s okay for two women to dance together – thankfully she got over it and I was able to throw her around on the dance floor a little.

And all of a sudden, my anti-DJ stance went out the window and I owned that dance floor, despite the pain my being out there caused any innocent bystanders.  And maybe the lesson here is that alcohol can make anything fun.  Maybe it’s that we shouldn’t let our stereotypes stop us from having fun or changing our hell bent stance on something.  Maybe it’s that with a little help (be it an informed friend, a strong drink, or an unexpected encounter), an experience we weren’t anticipating or even one that we were dreading, can be a hell of a lot of fun and even memorable.

Although, and this is the one draw back of a DJ, I come from a singing family.  An overwhelming, enthusiastic, and very loving family that happens to love to jump up on stage and start singing, especially at weddings.  My sister has one of the best voices I have ever heard and thankfully, it’s usually her that’s up there.  The one draw back of a DJ is that were one to sing, it ultimately sounds like karaoke.  No matter how stunning the vocals.  And that is where the band comes out the clear winner in this comparison.  Because while karaoke is fun at a dive bar with friends and a healthy sense of confidence, a wedding is neither the time nor the place.

And yes, I was most definitely trying to convince the DJ to let me up there for a few songs on Saturday.

HE SAID: DJ or band?

April 29, 2010

Dare I ask, market research Nifer?

I jest.  I agree with what you’ve written regarding a dj, they can be extremely fun at big parties…but they should be limited to things like sweet 16s, Bar Mitzvahs and perhaps even engagement parties, not a wedding.  See I’ve boiled this down the same way an NFL scout thinks about the draft.  A DJ is like that solid Offensive Lineman you know is going to be a contributor to your team for the next decade, but he is not going to carry your team to the Superbowl.  Basically, his ceiling is only so high.  A band on the other hand is more like the franchise quarterback you take with a top 5 pick expecting to ride him to Disneyland.  Now, I’d equate a Bar Mitzvah, big graduation party, etc to a mid to late first round pick, you don’t need and aren’t expected to get a franchise guy back there.  But a weddding on the other hand, a wedding is like the first pick…you need to blow the shit out of the water with this one.

Only you need to do it better then most NFL teams.  Do some actual research, make sure the band you are getting to going to absolutely crush it.  Don’t hire these guys (yes, I know it’s Lady Gaga but how boring of a perfomrance is that…)  You would probably end up remembering your wedding in the same way the Raiders recall Jamarcus Russell or the Charger Ryan Leaf.  Or how the Broncos will end up remembering Tim Tebow (yes, I know he was a late first rounder but it was probably the worst reach of the draft). Instead, check these guys out…they would be your homerun draft selections like Peyton Manning (i just threw up in my mouth having to write that) and Ricky Williams (not only will he run for lots of yards, he’ll get you high!)

Bottom line(s) are these: your wedding day is one of the more special days you’ll ever have…at least until you split up three years later (hey, statistics don’t lie).  Don’t celebrate it using a DJ who premixed his shit on is MacBook then tries to look cool pretending to spin.  Get a band, a loud rocking band.  The other bottom line is I’ve been looking for any excuse for making fun of the Broncos for drafting Tim Tebow in the first round.

HE SAID: Weddings

September 6, 2009

As a longtime bachelor, with very little hope to change that title seriously anytime soon, I must admit I approached this weekend a bit apprehensively.  I’ve been to a couple weddings in the past, the most recent ones being friends college and camp, so I could pretty much just focus on getting drunk and not having to deal with the adult section of the wedding.  This weekend was the wedding of one of my oldest friends, and next door neighbor…meaning adults I knew throughout my childhood would be in abundance, asking the typical questions regarding jobs (just quit) and girlfriends (don’t have one).  Not to mention my parents, who try their hardest to stay young but desperately want a grandchild. DSCF0028

But at the end of the day, I realized, one of my best friends was getting married, on a beach no less (perhaps more importantly on a beach about 75 yards from my house, meaning vehicles of any kind were not necessary, and last I checked you can’t be arrested for Walking Under the Influence), I knew I’d have the chance to reconnect with some good friends I hadn’t seen in years, and I knew my parents would leave somewhat early, meaning I could get wasted with some friends I hadn’t seen in years.  I pondered these thoughts while I got dressed, gelled up my hair, and sauntered off to the ceremony.

Well, as you can see, the setting was absolutely amazing, the ceremony was short and sweet, and the party that ensued was unforgettable.  Actually, I’m going to take this opportunity to plug the band, because they were fucking unreal.  So, if you have a wedding or a bar/bat mitzvah coming up anytime soon, look no further – (I should probably mention the groom’s band as well, so if you want some good old fashioned white boy reggae…

Today I came to the conclusion that weddings are without a doubt a tremendous experience, on so many levels.  I’d like to put myself in a position to be invited to as many as possible over the next few years.  I think this is mainly due to the combination of an open bar and single girls.  Love is definitely in the air, and the female population who do not have a significant other are definitely looking to make out at the very least.  One girl even came up to a few of us and said “I heard you are the hot single guy with the weed…I’ll escort you to your car if you want to go get it.” I knew she wasn’t talking to me because I am neither hot, nor  did I have any marijuana or a car, but it was still awesome to hear.

At the end of the day though it’s an excuse for a good party.  Actually, strike that…it’s a really good excuse for a really good party (you can strike both of those really – because a wedding isn’t really about me, the open bar, it’s about the love of two people, but I hate getting cheesy and sentimental so just deal…).  Celebrating that big of an event, for that close of a friend, with that many people is bound to be a good time.  And I was glad to be a part of it.  I’m also glad I didn’t end up like one poor soul who managed to both take a 10 foot faceplant off a boat and piss in a cop car.

SHE SAID: Weddings

September 6, 2009

I too went to a wedding this weekend.  And while the one I attended was not lucky enough to have the humbly titled band Jeremy heard, it was also an amazing and memorable wedding.

For the most part, I enjoy going to weddings.  Impressive because I’m pretty cynical and not the most on board about the whole love lasting thing.  But how can you complain about free food, booze, and if no dancing, then at least the chance to sit on the edge of the dance floor laughing at the groom’s father’s cousin’s wife drunkenly dancing, arguably inappropriately, to some badly covered 80’s song?  I mean, I much prefer dancing, but the people watching is a good alternative.

And no matter how cynical or jaded you are,  weddings are awesomely positive.  You can’t help but appreciate how excited the couple is and how willing the guests are to toast to their love. People are there to have a great time, they want to smile and laugh and celebrate.  I love the toasts about how awesome both the groom and bride are, the stories about how they found one another, the crying parents, the drunk bridesmaid’s toast, being in high heels and a dress and maneuvering in a port-o-potty without sitting on the seat or touching anything … weddings are fun.

I’ve attended coming out parties, graduations, christenings, birthday parties and funerals and weddings are the most fun by far.  Even the quickie wedding with the pregnant bride that we were all terrified was going to end in divorce in mere minutes was an unforgettable celebration.  And when you are present at one of those weddings that makes you believe in love again.  When even you, as a guest and not one half of the couple saying their vows, believe that those two people are meant to be together and love one another in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer … it’s remarkable.  And most definitely cause for one hell of a celebration.