SHE SAID: Women’s Gear

I have a bone to pick with whoever is designing women’s active clothing.  Actually, scratch that.  I have a bone to pick with whoever is designing anything specifically marketed towards women.

Flowers are pretty.  I like flowers.  I like to grow them, smell them, look at them.  I have nothing against flowers, but I don’t need them plastered all over my clothing, skis, bike, etc.  I don’t feel the need to advertise or defend the fact that I’m female while I’m getting some exercise or getting outside with friends.

I don’t even mind the whole, (fill-in-the-blank) like a girl, campaign.   I don’t have the sticker on my car, mind you, but I think it’s cool.  And after years of being told to emulate the guys, I think it’s great that my nieces are growing up proud of what their female influences are capable of doing and what they themselves are capable of doing.

This is not an anti-female rant or an anti-female-specific-gear rant. Although, I do think that a lot of companies realized a way to make an extra buck and started making lines that were geared towards women.  But, I also realize that despite how strong I like to think I am, I know most of my guy friends could pin me if I were to challenge them to a wrestling match.  Thus, I am aware that men and women have different needs apparel and equipment wise.

And while I think the occasional detailing is cool, I’m okay without little flowers, swirls, hearts and whatever else is so incredibly stereo-typical female oriented printed all over my stuff. While I like fur detailing on some of my hoods, I don’t need it on them all.  And, please, designers, we don’t necessarily want all pastel colored clothes either.  I can still ski like a girl without a fur-lined pink coat covered in flowers.  You’re not putting hammers and horns all over the products geared towards men.  So why the double standard?  Is it so hard to refrain?

At this point, I feel like it’s crossing the line from cute to mildly offensive.

HE SAID: Women’s Gear

Did something specific happen with clothes recently, Nifer?  I mean, I see you quite often and you never seem to be wearing anything, or for that matter using anything, that comes close to remotely resembling a floral pattern.  Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean others don’t.

Yes, I realize that pretty much our entire blog is based on things we don’t like, and then force those opinions down our reader (maybe by now, it’s ‘readers,’) throat.  But in this case, clearly you have a choice.  And, I commend you on exercizing said choice and not wearing ugly clothes, skiing in tights with a fur coat, or placing lame stickers on your car.

From a male perspective, I think most guys my age are less than impressed when they come across females that constantly wear floral pattern type clothing.  Well, I can only speak for straight males that don’t have a predilection towards the creepy, like younger kids. “That’s the thing about them high school girls…I keep on gettin’ older and they stay the same age” is a line that is quite funny to use in conversation, but thinking about it more deeply…Wooderson probably loved creeping on younger femmes in floral patterns.

I feel like most guys would prefer one of three things when they see a woman dressing – elegance, slutty or casual.  Personally, if I think a girl is hot when she is rocking jeans and a hoodie, that is all I need.  Other guys get off on seeing a woman look good in a good ole fashioned pantsuit (shoulder pads not necessary).  And still some others need to see cleavage to find a woman attractive.  No matter what, floral patterns aren’t doing it for most.

But, at the end of the day…some chicks want to wear flowers.  Otherwise you wouldn’t see those patterns being made.  Just please, stay away from it.  I promise I’ll avoid any future Men’s lines that feature hammers…unless somehow those become a fad and give me a better chance at scoring with the undergrads.

Clearly, I’m more out of my element than Donny here, so I’ll stop now.

HE SAID: Holiday Commercials

*Editor’s Note: While it can be tough being a lonely Jew on Christmas, this post has nothing to do with that.  I am not bitter Hebrew.  I have been lucky enough to experience both (C)Hanukah and Christmas the past few years, and enjoy both.

I had trouble titling this post.  Why? Because for some reason I thought “Will TV stations please stop airing effing holiday commercials two months out” was a tad too long and verbose.  Seriously though, I saw the first holiday themed commercial about 10 days before Halloween.  Oh, and by “holiday” I think we all know I mean “Christmas.”  Lets face it, the Jews aren’t exactly shoving Hanukah Harry themed items down our collective throats.  This first commercial was a gospel themed CD.  I found it odd that it was airing up in the Vermont area – the advertisements probably aren’t reaching the targeted audience.  Stoned white college tree huggers are probably not jumping to their phones to purchase the CD.

Here’s the thing about all this over-advertisement: while it’s true Americans are generally dumb (see election 2004), we are not so dumb that we need to be reminded that Christmas is on the way and all the stores of lots of really really good sales (I wrote that sentence a bit dumbed down to emphasize my point).  We are all all to aware of what Best Buys, Targets and shopping malls in general will be like for the next six weeks, we do not need it rammed in our faces through all forms of media.

Not only do we need to deal with excessive advertising, we need to deal with excessively cheesy advertising.  Take a gander at this, then this, and finally this one.  Ok, so that last one wasn’t cheesy, but it brings me to my next point – at one point Tyra Banks was incredibly attractive.

What about the first two commercials help advertise their products? Are they trying to tell me if I do my house decorations at Lowe’s and grab my tree (or menorah) there that my daughter will surpise me with a visit? I would hope that in the future my kids will show a little gratitude for all that I end up doing for them, such as putting them college.  Or I should say, they should show some gratitude to my wife for putting them through college and me for being Mr. Mom.

You want a good Christmas commercial, check this retro stuff out – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7kxPYzigCQ.  I have to cut this short because I want to crush some Oreo’s and skim milk.

SHE SAID: Holiday Commercials

Holiday Commercials stink.  I concur.

But it’s kind of a given.  Even more so given the current economical state.  Everyone and their mother is trying to sell sell sell and get in the black between the traditional consumer mad dash from Thanksgiving to Christmas Eve (although apparently that margin is now ten days before Halloween and Christmas Eve).  It’s a tiny time frame, I would imagine these people are under a ton of pressure, and the result is ads that are all too frequent airing too early in the year.

Toys, home goods, big box stores, oh my.

Recently, I feel like the amount of jewelry ads airing mid November astounding.  The forced, vomit-inducing cheesiness that runs rampantly on these ads is insulting to everyone, from the actors to the unsuspecting viewers.  If someone ever actually used the phrase “he went to Jared” to announce an engagement … if that’s the best they can come up with, that’s depressing. Although Kay, while normally anger inducing with the “every kiss begins with k” catchphrase, managed to come up with this one, which makes me laugh almost every time I see it.  I’m still waiting to see DeBeers moment of cripplingly forced, generic, gender stereo-typing, lame excuse for a romantic moment this season, but I have no doubt it will make me change the channel when I do.

Why does my mom expect all five of her grown children to be sitting in the living room come Christmas morning?  Thanks Lowes.

But I’m getting into entirely different territory here.

I have recently come to the conclusion that the ads I like are the low budget local ones that I catch every once in a blue moon when the urge to watch a back to back of the Wheel and Jeopardy strikes me.  They are way more entertaining and genuine than anything else out there, especially the dreaded holiday ads.

SHE SAID: Andre Agassi

Maybe it’s because of the people I hang out with, but there has been a lot of talk about this Agassi fellow of late.

I remember when he was big in the early nineties, when acid washed jean shorts, florescent colors and frosted tips weren’t a sign to run as quickly as you could in the other direction as they are today, but actually considered cool.  Unfortunately, 60 minutes showed some advertising footage of Agassi from the nineties the other night, and I was disappointed because what I remembered was a hell of a lot cooler than the actuality.  Then came the later years, symbolized by a shaved head and a more serious persona.  By the time he retired, most of the people who had been so adamantly against him when he was a flamboyant and rebellious newcomer embraced him as one of the greatest players the sport had seen and many even went so far as to consider themselves fans.  And no matter how you felt about him, most sports fans remember his stirring speech when he retired from the sport at the 2006 US Open.

For a long time I didn’t hear anything from or about Agassi.

And then I hear that he’s written a book.  And that in that book he discusses his use of crystal meth.

Nadal and Federer were not pleased.  Navratilova was damning.

And after reading many articles, watching both 60 Minutes’ and ESPN’s coverage, I’m torn.  I can’t decide if this is a case of someone used to living years in the spotlight and being controversial having trouble fading into the background?  Or is this a genuine gesture motivated by the need to be honest and forthcoming?

Agassi doesn’t have bad intentions in writing his book and coming clean about what was going on behind the scenes throughout his tennis career.  Had it been me advising him, I would not have told him to refrain from writing or publishing the book, but I would have told him to wait.  Because it is a fascinating story and he is a compelling personality, and his story should be told and there are many waiting to soak it up.  But, I would have told him to wait until his name wasn’t as recognized among kids who now might think of the drug as less dangerous since he is associated with it and was able to play at a high level while using it.  To wait until a few more of his rivals had retired so those that competed against him might feel a little less cheapened by his blatant disrespect not only for the sport but for their contribution to it as well as their time and energy.

But now it’s out there.  And while part of me wants to appreciate the book for what he claims it is, an open and honest look into his life, I can’t help but think that the motivation was more than slightly tainted with that old Agassi urge to rebel.  To be noticed.  To be different.  To fight, even when you’re not quite sure who you’re fighting against.

HE SAID: Andre Agassi

Ok so in the interest of full disclosure, this opinion is coming from someone who never liked Agassi as a player.  I definitely rocked a pair of jean shorts with spandex underneath in the 10 and unders, but besides that, he annoyed me.  He was a hothead who cared more about flamboyant shots than winning and lacked worth ethic.  Actually, now I realize why I disliked him so much during the first part of his career – he was too similar to myself.  I was a hothead who care more about flamboyant shots than winning and lacked worth ethic.  Then during the second half of his career (post meth), he seemed incredibly fake with his lame kisses to the crowd after every match.  Now, with the stuff that has come out of this book, those lame kisses make sense…seems to me that he was thanking the crowd for putting up with him being an ass for a decade, and for being a methhead.

I guess that isn’t really what you were posting about…you seem to be questioning on whether or not this full blown memoir is a good idea, and why did he bother?  Before I answer fully, I’d really like to read the book first.  People need to take all these excerpts and interviews with a few grains of salt.  As in, he wrote the book for three apparent reasons: 1. A lesson for others so they don’t make the same mistakes 2. to make some dough 3. self-serving divulgence of information to clear his conscience 4. to get back in the spotlight.

Those reasons were not in order.  Anyone want to take a guesstimate as to the order of importance for those reasons? 2, 3, 1.  Anyone who thinks otherwise is naive, in my humble opinion.As for reason number 4, I really don’t know where that fits, could be in first position, could be in last position.

“But Jeremy, he already has so much money…no way is he writing this to make a buck.”  No, he is not writing this to make some extra cash.  He is writing this to make millions of bucks.  He is writing this because maybe it will be made into a ABC movie of the week HBO miniseries (do they do movie’s of the week anymore?)  That’s why all these excerpts are coming out…notice how they aren’t crazy revelations about his day to day training routine.  No, they divulge such info as the crystal meth use, hairplugs, hatred of his father…Agassi (and his publisher) are trying to sell freaking books.  Oh, and yes, Agassi and his wife have millions and millions of dollars (much of which they have done amazing philanthropic work with)…but he is probably relatively bored, and if telling his story is going to make him millions more, why not?

Wow, I really didn’t expect to come across so angry.  But I guess meth just does that to me.  I mean, talking about meth, not taking it.  Believe me, after seeing this clip, I steered clear.